CREATING A FRIENDLY HOME
Some homes attract visitors while some homes repel.
Wondering why you hardly have visitors come around, why some get to your doorsteps and pretend to be just passing, though they initially planned to visit and stay with you for a while. You also wonder why others receive guests while you hardly get guests come around. People, even relatives, go elsewhere near you to lodge when they come to town and simply say "hello" to you on their way leaving town. You ask some to visit you at home and they give excuses why they cannot come, though they visit homes near you and stay over for days. You visit people, but they hardly come visit. Your home is always lonely and lack company. The following might be the reasons.
1. Your house is always dirty. People might not know how to tell you or might not want to embarrass you with such remarks. They simply avoid your home. Adjust. Let pee and poo stay in the toilet bowl and please flush. Make your restroom good for guests. Clean it regularly. Anyone can turn up suddenly. Let your living room be free of clutters, clothes, odours, smells, urine, left over plates and food, crumbs, free of insects and lice lest your guests get bitten and flee. Your living room is very important even if you live in a room apartment, make it as clean as possible. Always realise guests may come in at any time, be it relatives or others; make it look good enough for them to always wish to come back. I once had some guests, family though, inform me they were coming to town and will stay over for two or three days. I did not take it for granted that they were family. I cleaned up the guest room thoroughly including curtains and windows. I removed clutters and freed up space for them to sit and move around. All bed sheets were washed, nothing biting them on the bed. I placed lights and got new bulb. In case no power, I got battery lamp in place and placed new batteries in them. Bathroom and toilet were made appealing to the best I could do. I stocked the house with food so they have variety to choose from. I did my best with my small house and the little resources I had to make it as welcoming as possible. Such guests will always come back if they have the chance.
2. Stop handling your home with the "only me" mindset. Some scatter stuffs everywhere and leave no space for guests. Your home is repelling. You run it as if it is meant for only you, that is why you have no guests come around and non wants to live with you. Always remember, it is not only for you, anyone may come visit anytime, you must always be ready. Keep dirty clothes away from visitors view. Inner wears stay in your wardrobe, not scatterred in the living room or guest rooms. Always remember not everyone is brought up the way you were, adjust. You might add some flowers here and there and always ensure your house is well ventilated, no trapped odours that could drive guests away.
3. When shopping, buy extra food items or refreshments in case guests turn up suddenly. Most guests might not eat or drink, but best to always have something to offer just in case someone comes around. When offering refreshments, appear cheerful and not reluctant. Such attitude is a turn off for guests. They notice and will start avoiding your house.
4. If you can afford it, have the TV on or music playing for the pleasure of guests. If you cannot afford it, do only what you can. They will understand. Don't start hiding your TV remote control when guests are around, it is bad manners. If you are managing your TV subscription due to funds, kindly explain to them before turning off the TV, they will understand.
5. Make conversation around the interest of your guests and not just yours. Let them discuss what they enjoy, not offensive to you though. Create a happy and laughter environment. Let their stay be fun.
6. Don't start loading your guests with stories of personal woes and troubles. If discussion gets round to that and they show concern, then you can tell them your troubles if you trust then enough, if not, just entertain them and let them go.
7. Reciprocate visits as often as you can.
There are homes you enjoy going to and there are those you avoid, make yours one of those guests like visiting or staying over at. Make needed adjustments and get rid of loneliness.
(C) Tosin Oke
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