THE CHEF

AGBEJA THE CHEF

Agbeja is a young Kenyan man shining shoe by the roadside. He desired a better life. Being a roadside shoe shiner, he was well positioned to see all the happenings in town. He notices big cars pass and poor people going pass too. He wished he could improve his standard of living.  

One day, a chef, graduate of a culinary school who had served in the offices and homes of various rich people, came to shine his shoe. The chef left after Agbeja finished work on the shoe. In the night, as Agbeja prepared  to close, he noticed a paper under the chair customers sit on while he works on their shoe. He picked it up and discovered it was the culinary school certificate of the professional chef that came for shoe shining during the day. It must have slipped from the chef's pocket while sitting on the chair. Written at the bottom of the certificate was a good comment by the owner of the school, Mrs Ajoke Onifilagogoro, saying the chef was her best graduate of the school for that graduating year and recommending him to whoever it may concern. 

Agbeja didn't know the chef and had never seen him before. The only thing he remembered was the chef saying, while they exchanged pleasantry, he just left a job and was leaving town to set up his private catering business in his city of origin. The chef had a travelling bag with him and left for the public park to embark on his journey immediately after shining his shoe. The chef would be in another city by now. He will definitely be looking for the certificate, might not even know where he lost it. 

Agbeja began to think. He recently heard of a foreign banker from London who just came to take over as the CEO of one of the banks in town. Agbeja heard all the stories in town, being a roadside shoe shiner. He also heard the man needed a cook. He overheard two bank staff discussing this as they walked past. That was the day before. He had an idea. He checked the name on the certificate, it was similar to his; Agbefo. No picture was on the certificate, anybody could use it, just say your name is Agbefo. Too easy. He figured out that he will find his way around cooking, as long as the man wishes to eat their local Kenyan food that he can easily prepare. Agbeja was thinking about the money he will make and decided to give the job a try. The thought of money had clouded his judgement. 

THE BRITISH CEO

The following day, Agbeja went to the bank's head office, made enquiries from the security personnel at the gate concerning the need for a cook for the new CEO. The response was affirmative. He was happy. He entered and requested to see the new CEO. Agbeja introduced himself as Agbefo. The British CEO quickly attended to him, took a look at the culinary school certificate, read the comment at the bottom, saw madam Ajoke Onifilagogoro's signature, a well known internationally recognised catering school owner, and was satisfied. Agbeja was instantly employed and asked to proceed to the CEO's  kitchen as his private cook. The CEO occupies the official apartment for the CEO in the same bank's huge complex. He had just arrived and didn't come with his wife and children. He lived alone and desperately needed a cook, being a busy man. The new cook was asked to immediately move into the boy's quarters at the back of the apartment and had instant access to the kitchen in the main house. Agbeja was overjoyed. He couldn't believe his luck. He ran like mad to his own one room in town where he was already owing three month's rent, packed his few stuffs, avoided his landlord and relocated without saying goodbye to anyone. 

The CEO was hungry. He gave Agbeja some money to go to the market, buy food items and prepare a local Kenyan dish for him. Agbeja inflated the price, collected money from the unsuspecting CEO, went to the market, bought the items and kept the extra money. His first loot. He prepared a delicious Kenyan dish for the man. That was easy. He was born and raised a Kenyan. Kenyans cook well. The CEO was impressed after eating. The food was good. All was well. 

The Briton CEO once had problem with indigestion and constipation. A purgative saved him. To avoid such an occurrence, he travels with a purgative. He had a purgative with him, but forgot it at the kitchen while settling down in his new apartment before Agbeja arrived. He also loved condiments on his food. He has a presentation to make to the staff and board of directors the following day at exactly 9am. 

It was the following day, he couldn't wait for breakfast. No big deal, he now has a good cook. He instructed Agbeja to prepare another good Kenyan breakfast and bring it to his office before 9am. He must eat before the presentation. "Just add enough condiment, I like lots of seasoning", he told Agbeja. Of course, a graduate of such a good culinary school should understand that. Agbeja had no idea what he was talking about, but pretended to understand. He didn't know what condiment meant. He couldn't ask so as not to expose his lies. 

"Well, condiment must be something added to food". He reasoned. The Briton must have brought it. He looked around the kitchen and saw the purgative lying somewhere. "Yes, that is it, the condiment". Agbeja was happy. He cooked well. 

To make the Briton happy; he was determined to keep this new job, he emptied the bottle of purgative in the food and stirred. Food was ready. He was at the CEO's office by 8am. He delivered the food and left. The CEO ate with relish. It was a delicious meal, unknown to him, laced with a whole bottle of purgative. The Briton finished his meal at exactly 8:50am and dashed to the presentation room to address the staff and board members. 

5 minutes into his presentation, his stomach decided to complete this story... 

My dear readers, let your imagination complete this story. I do not like embarrassing people in public. Goodnight.