THE CHINESE MAN IN UGANDA.
ENGLISH VERSION
FOR YOUR RELAXATION.
He was an easy going Chinese man, he had a job opening in Uganda and travelled to work and stay there. It was his first time in Africa, it was his first exposure to African language and culture. He relied on the Ugandan natives to put him through their language and way of life. He lived among them. They welcomed him and gladly attended to his needs. Being a young and single Chinese man, he wanted female company. He saw an equally young and pretty Ugandan woman, educated and from a respectable home. He liked her, but not yet understanding the Ugandan way of life, he decided he needed advice before proceeding to approach her with his love intentions. He didn't want to make a mistake. He had a male Ugandan neighbour, also single and quite friendly. He approached him for advice. Unknown to him, the Ugandan neighbour had got his eyes on the same woman in question for years, but she had repeatedly turned him down. The innocent Chinese man managed, with the little Ugandan language he could speak, to express his desires to the neighbour and asked him to tell him how to approach her and her parents in the Ugandan way. The Ugandan man boiled with rage and envy, but pretended to cooperate. He excused himself and went out briefly. He soon returned with the following items. 1. A ram' s horn painted red and wrapped with feathers. Black clothe tying the feathers to the horn. 2. A small bottle containing black liquid. The bottle's cover had four tiny holes out of which protruded pins, one stuck into each hole. With a big smile, he gave them to the Chinese man and explained to him that he must diligently follow his instruction to woo the girl, else he will lose her. He taught him three simple sentences in Ugandan language and said they meant "I love you ". The sentences were actually fetish incantations all Ugandans know very well. The Chinese man suspected nothing. He was so happy to be receiving help from this nice Ugandan man. His Ugandan neighbour told him that when he gets to the home of the woman, he should point the ram's horn at her, open the bottle and start sprinkling the contents on the floor, not minding whether the parents were present or not. He said it is a show of love they will all appreciate. He should then look straight into her eyes and recite the 'love sentences' he taught him. That was all he had to do and the woman will be his. She will fall in love instantly, he concluded. Fortunately for the Chinese man, non of the items he gave him were potent. He simply picked the items from a refuse heap nearby and put them together.
The Chinese man proceeded in good faith as instructed. He got to the young woman's house. Fortunately, two of her karate black belt brothers were at home, her police father too was at home. The very happy Chinese man stood with boldness and began to display his show of love as instructed.....
So as not to spoil our mood, allow me stop here, feel free to imagine the rest of the story.
Copyright
Tosin Oke
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